On Being Stuck – Or Am I?
It seems to me that my writing has stalled and so has my life. The parallel is fascinating because it implies that for me one has to move in order for the other to also move. However, if I actually write every day as I started out to last year maybe that will trigger what is necessary to open up my life and get movement there.
Then there’s the thought that we are evolving to learn how to be instead of how to do. If that’s the case then I’m an expert at Being! Seeking never brings the right results; chasing rainbows, pushing for outcomes, definitely not how I operate. I am more a creature of scattered thinking, ideas pinging, some landing for a while, some not even worth more than a glance. I’ve even taken ideas beyond the concept stage, started to think about getting involved, only to find that the idea withers before it has a chance to develop. The trick is to remain the observer, not to get into reasons why, inner criticism, self-analysis, but to simply let it fall away.
It is amazing how we like to drive ourselves, we are taught from an early age to strive for results, to strive for perfection, always aim high. What if, instead, we were to sit quietly with each idea that comes into our minds and see how our body reacts? This was really brought home to me the other day when I was discussing Aromatherapy for relaxation and sleep. Ideas were being thrown out but one essential oil was named and I could literally feel my whole energy body shift. I had no idea what the purpose of the oil was, only that it resonated strongly with me. These are the responses that I want to cultivate, to listen to, but it is only when we are in a quiet state of ‘Being’ that we can be fully aware of how our physical and energetic body responds.
I am constantly amazed and delighted by just how much knowledge and innate wisdom we have inside ourselves. It is a journey of self-discovery. I spent many years searching for that one guru, that one person, who could explain to me exactly who I am and why I’m here, hand me all the answers to all of my many questions. What I’ve come to realize is that I prefer to work with teachers who guide me, inspire me, point me in the right direction and are there for me when I have questions. They don’t give me the answers, they help me find the paths, and they empower me to find the answers within myself. I am learning to cultivate the skill of listening to the shifts in my energy body and giving my inner wisdom room to make itself known. Truly finding the magic within!
2 thoughts on “On Being Stuck – Or Am I?”
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I love this, since I too am learning for the first time in my life that Being is much more Important than Doing (as I was taught: “Do as you’re told” and so it starts!). Is it possible, not that you’re stuck, but that you’re building up a critical mass of energy, taking the TIME for it instead of “doing stuff” and not being yourself? As in meditation, you’re not trying to “get” somewhere because, well, you’re already where you need to notice that you are. Sarah
Moving away from how we have been ‘trained’ to be is tough. Yes, society values us for our doing and it drives us. I think that ‘being’ allows our inner selves, our raw selves, to surface. We just have to learn to allow it to surface and learn to listen to it. There is so much of value hidden away inside ourselves. When we stop and listen to our gut, to our heart, to our inner wisdom, we learn a whole new way of being, but we can’t learn unless we stop long enough to allow that inner voice to be heard. It is like nurturing a newborn, we have to treat it with kindness, with love, with tenderness as it learns to communicate.
That’s an interesting idea about building a critical mass of inner energy. I can definitely see that. For me, it is when I am able to still my active mind that I’m able to release the pressure cooker of ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘have to’ etc. that hounds me when I’m running around trying to get things done. Being allows my energy to take a deep breath, it allows it to flow through my whole system, there’s a calm that falls because there’s no agenda. Out of that calmness, that inner vacuum, will come interesting ideas, thoughts, concepts etc. I feel into which ones have possibilities. I laugh at some of the ludicrous ones that come up because they’re fun and silly. But because I’m still, I’m quiet, I can FEEL how the thoughts affect me. There is a significant energetic shift based on the thoughts drifting through my conscious awareness. I observe the shift, each one teaches me, then let the thoughts drift on by. That’s how I meditate. I can’t do the sitting cross-legged thing, it just doesn’t work for me. I should blog on meditation, it is such an individual process!