On the Edge
Her best dress. Makeup perfect. Her image reflected back to herself in the mirror. Yet, her eyes were wide open, pupils dilated. Knees knocking. Palms slick with sweat. To the outside world she looked calm and poised, but her inner-self was anything but.
One final glance back as she closed the door behind her. ‘It is just stuff’ she told herself, ‘material possessions of little use to me now.’
Life balances on a knife edge. Decisions made, directions changed, no going back and no regrets. Dreams, visions, what-ifs, played in endless loops in her head until she knew she had to decide. Sometimes it felt sure and steady, other times it felt too much and she simply wanted to crawl under the covers and pretend that there was nothing beyond her safe place. That final pushing off point taking more bravery than she had ever imagined.
Today. This is it. Faltering steps, heart pounding, yet something deep within pushing her on.
‘Turn back’ whispered her mother’s voice. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’
‘Not my voice’, she answered, a slight quiver in her voice, yet resolute.
‘Today is for me, just me. I’ve spent so many years in everyone else’s shadow, being exactly who they wanted and expected me to be. No more! I can’t keep hiding. I can stand here on the edge, looking over at all that might be, or back at what has been. The choice is mine, nobody else has the right to make the decision for me! Go back or step forward. Never again will I allow myself to be shaped by what others think.
‘This is it. Who knows what will happen, where I will land, but staying where I am is no longer how I wish to live my life. My gift to myself is my leap of faith.’
(Day 1 of ‘Speaking Your Sage, Writing Your Wise’ with Robin Rice – https://www.bewhoyouare.com/ – Photo Credit – Eve Hannah)
#sagewise #findingthemagicwithin