Emerging from Darkness
I haven’t been able to write for a few days now. World events sent me spinning into deep depression and for a while it seemed to be completely out of my control. I needed to weep, so I did. I needed to feel the pain and darkness of the world, so I let it happen.
Being an empath can be challenging as well as a gift. When I get slammed with such strong energies it becomes difficult to separate myself from what is going on. It has caused me to put up walls, to shut down my emotions, and to hide physically and energetically. But that doesn’t serve me well. I don’t want to spend my life shut down, I’ve done that for far too long. This time around I decided to ride it out, see where it led. Someone suggested that it was necessary to feel the darkness and the pain so that we can transmute it and then reflect the light again. Wise words, even more so given how deeply I was feeling the negativity. So, I stayed with it. I let my body feel the pain. I allowed myself to sink into depression, to cry, and to mourn what is happening on our beautiful planet. I tried to stay aware of not going to a point where I couldn’t return, but it sat there like a dark pit waiting for me to tumble in. I put my trust in the shifting of the energies to help me climb back out when the timing was right.
My mentor speaks about these times and is always reminding us to ask for help when we need it. So many of us are great at helping others but won’t ask for help for ourselves. It is time to break that pattern. We need to ask for help, we need to reach out to others, we need to find people who understand what we are going through. Ask them for help and they will ask us for help when their turn comes.
So I asked for help. I asked my Divine Team and the Goddesses who walk with me. I offered up thanks for them being with me, for guiding me when I feel as lost as I have been feeling lately. Then I stepped back and got out of the way, my faith in them absolute.
It wasn’t until I was lying in bed last night that the true depth of what happened really hit me. It started off yesterday morning with me driving with uncontrolled tears rolling gently down my cheeks, just letting them flow. Arriving at my appointment, I listened to the mindless chatter, unable to process the words. Then someone shifted the conversation to what is going on in the world. I felt as if I’d been gut-punched but I was able to speak, to let them know that I, too, felt it. Deep breath.
Then to the nearby health food store. I have known the owner for many years but I don’t get out that way very often. Another conversation about what is happening, about the energies, about making a positive difference. He let me know that he had great faith in me, hugged me as I left, and I felt comforted.
My essential oil blend for dealing with negative news worked its magic and I could breathe deeper. The tears dried up of their own accord and my heart felt a little lighter. I had forgotten that it was in my purse, but I was gently nudged and there it was, exquisite timing.
Yesterday evening a friend sent me a YouTube clip talking about what is happening to so many people energetically, how they are feeling, and it described exactly what I was going through. There are no random encounters, I was meant to listen. Again, I felt that I wasn’t alone. I reached out to my friend to thank her and to let her know what I had been going through. She immediately connected me with two other people who understand what is happening.
From unstoppable tears in the morning to heartfelt and deep gratitude last night. The darkness will happen again, that is part of my empath journey, but I will look back on the last few days and will have the strength to carry on. We are needed, every single one of us. Reach out to others. We are remembering.